A few of my clients are upset by their own performance.
They were hoping for something different from their own bodies. Be realistic about your expectations. I will not judge you and I have no expectations. This is a random collection of thoughts about the performance possibilities and problems that I see.
|There is a difference between orgasm and ejaculation. Just to clarify...||
Orgasm is what feels good throughout your body, ejaculation is the mess. Some men orgasm without the messy bit because they have learnt to do that. Some of my clients, however, experience orgasm without ejaculating due to physical health problems/ operations.
Most of my clients are aged 50+ and most of my clients do not maintain erections for extended periods of time. Many men cannot get an erection at all.
I strongly urge you to not think about an erection as a goal - after all you do not need one, we are not going to be having sex. Shut your eyes so you can't see and just think and feel. Does it feel good to you? You are not touching your penis, I am touching it, how does that feel?
|Difficulty reaching orgasm.||
I suspect this happens to most people sometimes.
If this is something that is a frequent problem for you some strategies to help might be:
(a) do not aim for orgasm (enjoy the journey and don't focus on the destination)
(b) practise - see other answers.
|Any performance problems.||
A few clients have no sexual experience outside of that with the therapist (such as myself) you must practice on your own or with a partner.
Sexual activity is similar to other sports if you want to improve performance. Athletes do not just run a monthly half marathon, they jog shorter distances several times a week.