Some clients talk more than others. Many don't come for conversation; they have other people to talk to. But some who have opened up to me talk about an intensely personal journey of loss, sadness, and loneliness.
In the months and years following a spouse's death, some of the things you miss might be things you gave little thought to at the time.
It can be the smallest thing. Things you took for granted. The little things—holding hands, a hug after a long day, a gentle touch on the shoulder.
It's easy to overlook how much these small gestures mean until they're gone. Human beings are innately wired for touch; it's one of our most fundamental needs. Research has shown that touch is crucial for emotional well-being, and the absence of it can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression.
When grieving, especially after the loss of a spouse, the need for touch doesn't simply disappear. If anything, it becomes more pronounced. It is not just a source of comfort; but a form of non-verbal communication that conveys support and understanding.
Try getting a massage. At first, you might be hesitant. Don't rush into anything before you are ready.
Don't tackle the trivial in the face of overwhelming grief. Something as simple as a massage isn't going to make it all go away.
If it brings your feelings to the surface, don't worry. You won't be the first to cry on the massage couch as the closeness and intimacy bring forth waves of emotion.
But upsetting you certainly isn't the objective. Instead, a sense of peace, relaxation, and gentle, non-threatening human connection is what I'm aiming for.
The intimacy of a massage is different from the intimacy shared between spouses, but it is intimacy nonetheless. It is a safe, therapeutic kind of intimacy that can help bridge the gap between the isolation of grief and the need for human connection.
We have a deep-seated need to feel connected to another human being, even if just for a moment.
One of the most challenging aspects of grieving is finding the strength to take care of yourself. Getting a massage may seem indulgent.
Self-care isn't just about pampering yourself; it's about survival. It's about finding ways to nurture your body and soul when everything else feels like it's falling apart.
Show yourself compassion.
You are still worth caring for.
You deserve to feel good, even if only for a little while.
It doesn't mean forgetting your spouse or moving on in the way people often suggest. It means finding a way to live again, to find joy and connection in the world around you.
Grief is a journey, one that doesn't have a clear end. It ebbs and flows, and there are days when it feels overwhelming.
If you are grieving the loss of a spouse, I would encourage you to consider the power of touch. It might seem like a small thing, but sometimes, the small things make the biggest difference. A massage won't remove your grief, but it might help you get through this week.
Deb's Sensual Massage service in Cheshire:
I am not an escort. I am an expert in erotic massage. That's all I do.
Check my 2-page website for more details and use my automated booking system to make an appointment:
https://uklingammassage.co.uk/